holding it all. all the love and hurt and rage. swirling past lives through these melodies. twisted smiles and sad eyes. forgotten faces and memories of joy. i want to hit and kick and break and scream and hold and squeeze and love and remember and forget.
if these songs could talk..could they tell of the rooms they've filled, the hearts they've opened...and broken? sometimes they sound so true, sometimes they are all lies. the soundtrack stays the same while the movie changes. but no, the songs change too - we becomes you, us becomes them. they tell the stories we are afraid to admit, confess the love and fear and confusion and change.
contentment. sitting with all of this. observing...
how the pain changes. sharp, raw, dull ache, pulsing through tense muscles, lingering with remembered memories, mingling with a warm, holding love. on one side, a sparkling grin and wink from a cute new friend; on the other, a reassuring hand on my back. behind me, her laugh goes through me, pressing against the fading bruises. my eyes lite up at the opening chord while my body braces for this rush of pasts.
i don't long for the way things were. i'm actually very happy with the way things are now. i just wish that change didn't mean loss.
ed. note: this post was written immediately following a musical show i attended. some of y'all know exactly what i'm talking about and some have no idear.
Husband and Wife
4 days ago
1 comment:
hmmmm . . . love, you are brave to have gone, to have sat, to have felt. And the fading bruises, is there any pleasure in the pressure, or only pain?
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