ever heard of wind anxiety?

'cause the four-year-old (l.) that i nanny/babysit has it.

i had an inkling of her concern but didn't know the force of her worry until a week ago, after a trip to the seattle children's museum. while parking, i noticed a raggedy pillow in middle of the parking space. i made a comment about it as i parked over it. "oh, that's funny there's a pillow under our car." l. got really worried about it and asked me to retrieve it. she was worried that it would blow away. i reassured her that it wouldn't go anywhere while we were parked above it and she forgot about it. but as we returned to the car after our face-painting, scary improv-theatre-for-kids adventure, she asked about the pillow again. she wanted to take it home. this raggedy, dirty, probably oily pillow didn't quite fit the aesthetic of their ginormous-house-on-a-cliff-overlooking-the-sound. so i again reassured her that as we drove away, someone that actually needed the pillow would find it and put it to good use. as i'm trying to buckle her and her two-year-old brother into their car-seats, she is getting panicky, begging me to move the pillow so someone else doesn't park there and smoosh it. really, on the verge of a tantrum. after a couple minutes of back and forth i acquiesce to the tears in her eyes. i back out of the parking space, move to the one next to it and move the pillow to the base of a tree next to the sidewalk. as we're finally pulling out of the parking space she's repeatedly asking me if the pillow will blow away.
the other day i rode by that spot and the pillow was gone. i will tell her that someone who needed it took the pillow to sleep on.

so then today (un-seattle-ably gorgeous weather, 65 degrees and sunny!) i'm trying to get the kids outside. she notices the trees moving a bit in the wind and, at first, refuses to go outside (just into the backyard). i finally convince her to come kick a soccer ball around with me but she fixates on the idea of the wind blowing everything away again. this is not just a curious, inquisitive four-year-old concern. she's getting really upset and panicky about a plastic kids basketball hoop, that has already blown over, fretting that it will get picked up and carried over the bank. she's worried the soccer ball will blow away as we are playing. we collect leaves and twigs for art making and later i suggest that we put the extras that we didn't use back outside and she frets that they will blow away. yeah, the dead leaves that we just picked off the ground cannot go back there because they will blow away into the ocean. she asks if they will dissolve in the water. i say i don't know probably (trying to figure out in my head if she is worried that they will or that they won't). she keeps asking and i have no idea what happens to leaves when they get blown into the ocean.

later, we walk by an overturned plastic chair in a yard in capitol hill. as soon as i see it and hear her say "jesse..." with an anxious tone, i know her question. "will that chair blow away?"