so i said i'd write.
kinda like i say i'll call. i don't do well when i can't see your eyes.
(think i'm talking about you? i prolly am..in fact i'm currently envisioning about eleven specific eyeballs at the moment)
doesn't work too well...all this stuff in my head, changes in my life. reconnecting with old friends, falling away from others. today the little pre-yoga-class inspirational message was about letting go of what needs to go and holding on to what needs to stay. but which is which? i think the point is to pay attention to the energy you are putting into the grasping. hmm.
sometimes the contradictory space in my head feels so good, so spacious and clear in its confusion. like a room full of fluffy multi-colored pillows, where you sink in and notice the table on the ceiling and the waves on the wall and you breathe and think, it's okay.
and sometimes the light changes and everything shifts and nothing makes sense and that's not okay. the either/or monster sneaks in the back door and every facet of life becomes an imminent decision. now or never. hated or loved. smothered or lonely. successful or a failure. hypersensitive or oblivious. hott or hideous. weak or tough. boy or girl.
the trick is to remember that the light will shift again. and the memory of the upsidedown teacup will get me through the sticky times.
kinda like i say i'll call. i don't do well when i can't see your eyes.
(think i'm talking about you? i prolly am..in fact i'm currently envisioning about eleven specific eyeballs at the moment)
doesn't work too well...all this stuff in my head, changes in my life. reconnecting with old friends, falling away from others. today the little pre-yoga-class inspirational message was about letting go of what needs to go and holding on to what needs to stay. but which is which? i think the point is to pay attention to the energy you are putting into the grasping. hmm.
sometimes the contradictory space in my head feels so good, so spacious and clear in its confusion. like a room full of fluffy multi-colored pillows, where you sink in and notice the table on the ceiling and the waves on the wall and you breathe and think, it's okay.
and sometimes the light changes and everything shifts and nothing makes sense and that's not okay. the either/or monster sneaks in the back door and every facet of life becomes an imminent decision. now or never. hated or loved. smothered or lonely. successful or a failure. hypersensitive or oblivious. hott or hideous. weak or tough. boy or girl.
the trick is to remember that the light will shift again. and the memory of the upsidedown teacup will get me through the sticky times.
1 comment:
11 eyeballs? Five and half people?
I'm so happy you're writing. And watching teacups fall on your head and letting the light shift.
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